Ok. So I just finished reading a blog that said the Mom (the blogger) never got mad about spilled milk. She also never got mad at her small daughter throwing her siblings shoes into large bodies of water. I understood her point, but I think I disagree with her.
First of all, being angry is not an unnatural or evil thing. Anger is a part of everyone's healthy, normal, psychological make up. Your emotions make you human. Kids don't need to see a space-cadet, smiling, no-reaction-when-you-do-something-awful Mother. They need to know how their actions affect other people. You do something bad, Mom gets mad. That does not mean that Mom beats you with a clothes hanger or berates you for 30 minutes or locks you in a closet. But anger, even with a child, is natural. Punishment, appropriate to the situation, is also normal. You can't let your kids run all over you. You can't let them throw their brother's shoes into a lake and just say "oh well, kids will be kids!". 'Cause you know what? That kid is gonna grow up and is gonna do stupid shit and you can't just smile and say "oh well, 25 year olds will be 25 year olds". (Unless you like the idea of your grown children being completely helpless and dependent on you for everything.)
Kids are not stupid. They can understand anger. They can understand consequences. And you know, this whole "I'm more concerned about my relationship with my kids than being angry" garbage...is just that...complete garbage. Don't be your child's friend. Be their parent.
I UNDERSTAND the adage about not crying over spilled milk. I UNDERSTAND that there are important things and there are unimportant things. I UNDERSTAND that you have to pick your battles. Expecting your children to behave is important. Hold them to a high standard. Yes, there are times when some spilled paint on the floor might be funny and cute. But there are also times when a lesson is to be learned, and if you miss teaching that lesson, the harm may be a lifelong problem with your child and their behavior.
I don't know...I didn't check up on the author. Maybe she has all girls and the shoe-thing was an isolated incident and she thought it was "nothing to get mad about", but I've got two boys...two very active, very "boyish" boys...and that shit would not fly. Because the shoes might become each other or someone else getting thrown into the water. Boys never know when to quit. And you can bet, when I have to buy 3 pairs of shoes at $20 a pop every 3 months or so, throwing them into a lake is not funny. It's disrespectful and wasteful. "Things" are not as important as your child, but "things" are not free, either. Children should be taught those kinds of lessons as well as "Mommy loves you more than shoes." I mean, seriously, DUH. Of course mommy loves you more than shoes. If you are worried about your kids thinking you love shoes more than them, I would suggest that perhaps you have already screwed up royally.
Thank you. That is all.
